she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
