We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
