no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize