What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
