bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
