did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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