My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize