pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
