I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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