Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
