Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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