i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
tell me about the eggs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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