worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I will be naked everywhere
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
