Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the day after is always just damage control
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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