I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
