dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Randomize