Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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