so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
