it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
