just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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