Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Come see our sink grown plant.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
