dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
