It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
