Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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