If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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