what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
