My brain says no but my pants say off.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
