I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize