I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
