im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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