The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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