I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
