Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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