try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
