I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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