sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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