We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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