Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize