my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
