I have demons in me.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
