Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize