I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
