i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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