I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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