Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
