i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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