Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
