I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize