It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
