my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
