how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
