Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
