You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
