I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
