five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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