I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
