im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
