I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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