Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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