I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize