Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize