I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
