I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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