im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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