I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
