Yo dont text me then not text me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize