Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
