Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
worst night to have a conscience
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
