I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
