thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
