I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize