Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
