So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
